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... which of course is me but here is a funny thing: the cream is called "nix" which is just about all the proof I've been waiting for. I am now 100% certain that my solipsist delusions are in fact a more fundamental underlying reality and that you (that is to say everyone outside of me) are all figments of my imagination. I'm not even gonna bring a passport as now I know the secret I will simply imagine myself having jedi-like powers "you don't need to see my passport" "I'm not the terrorist you're looking for"

has this board turned into a doctors waiting room or does Nick feel he wants us to share his total and utter humiliation or is it a competition because I have had lots of nasty things I could rant about?

and letting all of your problems be broadcast across the world, i don't know about you guys but i must admit that this board is good for letting everything hangout.... though i must admit the idea of letting everyone know the fact that they have crabs is maybe a little to personal still good on him for letting us know and i will make sure that all of his friends know the trouble with his little friends and the fact that he has plucked all of his pubic hair out fantastic hope that you get it all cleared up nix before you return to blighty and fix yes this board is good to rant on , havent you noticed that most of us do!

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for a change

I had to work a whole three fucking days in June, my fanbelt went on the autobahn (luckily only 100m past the services so I was able to do a naughty reverse down the hard shoulder), I had to leave Interlaken where I was having a fucking fantastic time and drive all the way to Kiel (look on a map) for very little reward, I flew off in the wrong direction on my first attempt at a cross country flight, I have not played death match or any other computer game since leaving Scotland, I took off without my leg straps buckled on my harness (managed to sort it mid air but probably one of the most phenomenoly careless, stupid and dangerous things I have ever done in my life), I had to bail a show because of 10 fucking break-dancers starting up 10metres away, my mobile phone bill is through the roof, it's too hot, I`m sick of fucking cheese and there`s a hole in my exhaust .......but at least my scrotum is intact.