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Not sure I read this question correctly first time around. You say that "No weapons can be used, just the kids themselves." Perfect!! simply grab the first one that looks at you funny by both legs and holding tightly with two hands commence to swing it in steady circles around you at a little below waist height. The unexpected nature of your pre-emptive counter-attack should deter some of your attackers. For those more tenacious wee pups, the satisfying crunch as the first two skulls collide should discourage all but the most psychotic of their peers. Also, if you get the pitch just right, the spray of blood and teeth will hopefully serve to temporarily blind the rest while you find a fresh baby bludgeon. ooh - ask me another p.s. of course whilst this is by far the safest course of action in purely strategic terms, there are risks inherent in this sort of "pre-emptive" approach. I feel it encumbent upon me to add that one should be quite quite sure that such an attack is actually going to happen before commiting yourself to the above strategy when say picking up a friends child from the local day nursery for instance. ok now I'm done

Shame I'm not a primary teacher or would have been happy to martyr myself in name of science Does one 10 year old = 2 five year olds, bit more difficult to swing I guess

I don't think you could spin a 10 year old in the way nick describes - or even if you could, it would take too long to pick up speed. Even a five year old can be a big ask, especially if obese. Also I reckon the little buggers may stand back and wait till you're dizzy. You'll inevitably lose your balance (not being a ballet dancer/ice skater), stumble to the ground and then you're dead. Incidentally nix, i am assuming that the kids coming for you, so you don't have the element of surprise. Other than that, I liked your take on this.

i have nothing to add to the above, other than i think the kids would prevail, with ease, anyway you look at it, and that this is one of the finest threads ever to grace gxnx..... i had a friend in london, who didn't know i was a gxnx-er, relay the content of this thread (first time round) to me as one of the funniest things he'd seen on the internet...he'd seen it posted on some "best of message boards" type site. somebody out there is watching. weird, coincidental and cool.

I have definately read a similar thread before, and I thought it was on grixnix! Crazy thing is when I read it b4, some dude wrote nearly the same analysis as nix. The truth is nix has underestimated the 5 y.o. (or over estimated himself). Any determined attack by the kids would not be taken seriously at first and the proper defenses would not be employed until you felt in mortal danger. My my reckoning, and with direct experience of being over run by ten kids at Jinx' 5th b'day party, you would not realise the danger until you had at least two per limb and two on your back. At the point of panic, when you realised the depth of your predicament, any violent movement is likely to result in your falling to ground, as happened to me. After that, with five kicking your face, gouging your eyes and blowing rasberries on your tum, it is opnly a matter of time. Thus the empirical answer is 15 as a minimum or twenty to be safe. Fortunately Jinx didn't have more friends. Of course, if you watched the kid gang kill another first, you would be able to employ nix' defences and the whole excercise would become a war of atrician linked to your personal fitness, deafness, strength and ability to combat sleep. Assuming the attack started after a full scottish veggie breakfast, I reckon it would take at least 5 to 6 hundred

you did see this before. this board has the wonderfully annoying feature that you can go saunter through the archives and if yuo see a thread that interests you you can post on it and its back to the top of the list. Good to egt your firsthand experience though.

credit you are all giving to a bunch of freakin' kids! They are children! 4 or 5 yr olds - weak , under developed in body and mind, pathetic little skin bags of water and soft bone one good hit to the face and down they go sobbing into their little denim dungarees in fact all you need to do is shout at them that Santa won't come this year if they so much as touch you and then you are free to squash their cute little dribbling faces to mush bring them on I say - I reckon I could do a few thousand if not more...

they are on some sort of crystal meth/buckie mix.....