[ Home ]

How many 5 year olds do you think it would take to "take you out" in a fight? They are average 5 year olds, half girls, half boys. I think possibly 40-50. No Weapons can be used, just the kids themselves. I saw this Q recently, thought i'd get some interesting thoughts on this board. I reckon about 5 boys could deck me if they had shoes. One good kick to the shin would have me hopping then a few could topple me over and then they'd kick and stamp me till i slipped into a coma. Then again, i'm assuming i'm not gonna fight back which is unrealistic. Gonna have to rethink.......

Simple geometry comes in handy here. I am 1.8m tall and the reach of my legs is approximately 1m from my notional centre. 2*PI*r gives the circumference of my reach as around 6.3m. If we assume that each 5 year old measures 30 cm across (remember they need room to be able to duck in and out quickly in order to be able to attack effectively without unacceptable risk of damage to themselves). So at any one moment in time, so long as I can maintain my integrity as a credible threat, I can only be attacked by 19 5-year-olds max. Of course at this point we start having to make assumptions about the mental state/motivation behind the attack. If we assume that one blow from my hand or foot will incapacitate a 5-yr-old and that said five year old will need to be removed from the circle of death before another can take its place then so long as it takes at least 6.5 seconds to remove a prone child and I am using two hands and one foot to attack 3 children every second then the number of children I can beat off is limited only by my personal fitness/stamina. Clearly I need to commence my counter-attack as soon as the children first approach and use their bodies as a barricade against the rest as once one of my limbs becomes entangled by a childs teeth or otherwise encumbered by a tugging saliva covered hand, I am dead meat. Clearly, if the children are zombie children or high on some diabolic mixture of sugar and caffeine or otherwise motivated by perhaps a ninja doll which I have inadvertently attached to my head, then they will simply clamber over their fallen comrades gaining a height advantage as the fracas progresses. In this less optimistic scenario, assuming that the little-darlings' milk teeth hold and that they attack in concert, my life expectancy is approximately 2 hours. However, after the first 11 seconds my demise becomes unavoidable and I spend the next 1 hour fifty-nine minutes and forty-nine seconds in a soul-crushing agony with semi-solid nasal mucus slowly but inexorably replacing my body fluids. I'm not sure I'll be able to sleep tonight

Doesn`t really work on the page but: Why does Michael Jackson like 25 year olds?.. Because they are 20 of them. Boom boom I bet he could take èm no problem

that you could take nix, the one factor you have'nt taken into consideration is luck, if one of the kids gets a lucky blow into a vunerable area it would reduce your life expectancy by quite a bit. Having seen how my 3 and 6 year old play i think it would take about 30 to take me down, thats provided i could shake off the moral handcuffs that state i cant kick a 5 year old full in the face. However i'm sure my motivation would change after being punched in the nads for the n'th time this sadly i think would be my downfall i would need to have already be injured by them to gain the necessary anger to retailiate. What a conundrum Kix, please get out more questions like this scare me........... :-)

the screaming...... Dont underestimate the damage just one kid can do with a piercing screech. I think 10 of them could have you scrunched up in a ball with your hands gripping your head. I can't see how you can defend yourself from the aural attack.

have you started teaching or something kix?

or street performing?

I had a friend who lived in Carstorphine in Edinburh ( dodgy spot) while he was a student and his pal was walking home one afternoon when he saw 3 wee boys about 7 or 8 playing with a bit of rope. When he got close to them two of them pulled the rope between them - one ran one side of him the other on the other side doubled back and before you could say " where are the parents " they had him tied up on his back. They then went thru his pockets and liberated anything of value. So numbers don't really matter, just desire........

I bet jacko woul like to try and beat off as many little boys as he could get his sticky little white girly hands on